Sagittarius

Sagittarians are born adventurers. They like smashing spiders withtheir bare hands and trying to walk to the bathroom in the middle ofthe night with the lights out. They would sooner sustain cripplinginjury than do anything the easy way. Sagittarians love to entertaintheir friends, family, and total strangers. This often includestransvesticism. Nearly every Sagittarian was born into the wronggender. Sagittarians are loud and have no social graces. They seek tooffend. Sagittarians usually have nicknames like Thunderpooper orVomitus Maximus. Animals and small children love Sagittarians. This isunfortunate since adults usually hate them. However, Sagittarians makeexcellent circus freaks and vagrants. Sagittarians use interpretivedance to describe philosophical concepts. Buttons and bumper stickerswith rude sayings on them are a trademark of the Sagittarian. Theythrow food at expensive restaurants and ask lots of questions in themiddle of church. Don't ever bring a Sagittarius home to meet yourparents. He or she will tie up your mother and pants your dad. FamousSagittarians include the Geo Metro. The holiday during which the sun isin Sagittarius is Thanksgiving. This is highly appropriate sinceeveryone eats until they're sick and passes out while a bunch ofcross-dressers and huge inflatable things wander through the streets ofNew York, the most Sagittarian town in the universe. The Shrinersdriving around in the tiny little cars are a very Sagittarian image.Even more so if there's a ridiculously busty woman stuffed into the caras well. A Sagittarius is always a better Madonna than Madonna. Men canpull off sequins, and women can pull off construction helmets. TheSagittarius is incapable of being unhip.