Funny Wise Words

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy, but gets you nowhere.

Worry is a misuse of the imagination.

Wise people think all they say; fools say all they think.

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Why do they use sterile needles for lethal injections?

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

To generalize is to be an idiot.

There are no short cuts to any place worth going.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.

Only dead fish go with the flow.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Life is sexually transmitted.

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

Goals are deceptive. The unaimed arrow never misses.

Before you meet your handsome prince you may have to kiss a lot of toads.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

A little bit of powder, a little bit of paint, makes a girl's complexion seem what it ain't.

A gentleman is a patient wolf.

A drunk mans' words are a sober mans' thoughts.

7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.

A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

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