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Man Dem Refused The Breast When Young.
Street Rambos + Sidekicks.

Why In Jesus's Name Would You Come To a Establishment To Wrastle Nex Man? And On New Years?

Was out New Years Eve.....U kno how it is. Me and the boys looking Everso Dangerous (Well dressed + Handsome) Ready for a Good Nyt out in liverpool street to celebrate the comming of a new year. Unfortunatly we should have gone sumwhere else.. cause the quality of females at another place was Ridiculously Good so we all prayed that where we were goin the same quality would be replicated. (GOD willing)

We reached our place and were Speechless like a bunch of Chipmonks in a nut factory. The girls were not dealing with things boi.... so we were off to a bad start. The line was long n moved slow like we had to submit DNA samples at the door.  Finally got in n got peanut searched by 2 hefty bald dudes. who looked like they enjoyed every momment of our brief time together lol. Then wen we got into the main area coat rooms full up so no place to put jackets.....

Ever So pissed...bout cloak room? looked like a primary school tuckshop table. The only thing stopping a group of people jumping the cloak room ladies n stealing everything was the fear of running on a wet floor at high speed in your new shoes.

So went downstairs 2 c wat was gd which i can say was nuffin much. Music bare garage n funky house....No Suprise there.

The Bashment was announced to be played next so i was ready like a fat person for desert.  'yes, Slue dem....' 10 seconds in Two females start scrappin....while brehs around them threw their drinks over them.

Security took their dear sweet time as usual. so that was the first incident. 30secs after the males seemed to be shocked and inspired by the female display of midnyt rage n wicked weave removal.

So sumthing kicked off between to large groups and it was like watching wwf Royal Rumble PaperView. Bottles, glasses, shoes, sheep....practically anything man made. so music got locked n security was running round looking for fairy cakes. Then another group of Wrastlers got in a fight upstairs and the rave got locked.

Police locked the doors leaving us all in a battlefield were brehs that were refused the breast when born were taking out their revenge on other breast refused warriors.

we got out eventually and headed out back to the endz where my bed waited for me.

In conlcusion That was my New Years....I dont understand why brehs go out looking for shit? Before you have couple drinks n get a number...ud rather headlock a sweaty bean by ur crouch. (Guess sum people jus need Jesus.)

So im back on my Soca raves again. Im done with central 4 a while...cant be bothered to be around people that are allergic to good vibes.  

Getting Shegged!

Got shegged today... For those ov you that know not ov the word sheg/shegged. This is the slang word for getting stood up. Yes i got shegged. I really dont get it still.

Heres what happenes:

Phase 1: 'The initial Cherpse' 
 Boy sees Girl, Girl Sees Boy and smiles are exchanged. Boy approaches girl 'Maintaining' a kool & calm Swagger. Boy makes original convo using some humour leading to the kill.  (Kill = Asking for the number)
OUTCOME: It can go 1 out of two ways. 1 you get through and numbers are exchanged or 2 she has a man and you get shot down like a Duck Migrating.
Outcome Mood: 1 You feel F***ing happier than flies sitting on poo!
                        : 2 ur pissed but recall that 'NO' means 'Next One!' 

Phase 2: 'The First Phone Call'
Well we all kno the three day rule ryt? No matter how nice ...THREE DAYS.
Outcomes: 1 you phone and have a real gd conversation. 2 you call and shes as shallow as a swimming pool in basra. or 3 u get Voicemail
Outcome Mood: 1 you feel great (Mission Accomplished)
                        : 2 your Pissed
                        : 3 Jump out a Window lol

erything goes well. soo well you get a nice txt sayin how much she enjoyed talkin to you. (Real Down to earth not fitting into the stereotype of you being Gdlooking shallow and a man slut) so you get 10 points for your call (full marks)
Phase 3: 'lead to the link'
Youve talked bout three or four times now so all is left is to link up for a drink, dinner , cinema or a DvD at the yard. So you make the arrangments and you look foward to jus havin a laugh n jammin.

Phase 4: 'The Big Day"
Ok get all you need to do out the way so you can get home freshin up n get dided up till u look swavo! (F***ing Sexy)

Then

The Hour Approches.

The Hour is upon you

The hour lingers into the distance

Ur arrangment time has come n gone. Ur mood is pissed beyond your wildest dreams like a man sold you Magic beans that grew a Rusty Bucket instead ov a golden elephant.

Lifes Crazy!  lol

Im that guy you passed today, u kno the one that made u look at trees as you walked passed him. Yh that guy, the one that made you forget what you were suppose to be doing today remember? yh thats him..  you knew everything about him without exchanging any words. you thought. yh hes nice, look how well dressed and groomed he is. No way this guy mus have girls in every post code n thensum. nah loose this...keep your composure n walk straight pass him you say to yourself. You do as you planned and get away without exchanging words. As you walk away you feel uve accomplished your mission. However you realised you prejudged his whole character jus by looking at him. U feel regret and your mind says 'What if'?

Looks Can B Decieving...

Chinkz